Whose Box is This?

Thanks to the late William Chatterton Dix for the melody.

Whose box is this, left here in the snow
on my home’s humble front porch?
Where blue jays proclaim supremacy
and the neighbor’s dog douses the torch.
This box of someone’s new or old
now  soggy and ungluing from the cold
sits waiting still for it’s Santa Claus
to take the damn thing home.

What genius led them to drop this thing off
knowing someone’s holiday is inside?
Way to go mailman you did it again
Just wait until our next meeting.
Don’t say I’m bitter, I’m not even mad
but it’s been here already a week and a half
It’s really, really starting to smell
of old fruit and shellfish and liver.

So at my request come get this sad thing
wear a gas mask if you’re wise
it may not be anything I have guessed
but the smell is burning my eyes.
Please, please reclaim the box
I cry to all who can hear
Please, please take this thing away
my house needs to be aired out for a year.

Usually, postman, you do a fine job
but this one is really an expert bomb
Hurrry, hurry to pick it up
this horrible box of wonder.